Soft Skin

So, I quit my job on Monday, leaving my schedule free to perform a bit more before school starts up again next week.  Tuesday and Wednesday I performed sets in Toronto & St. Catharines, respectively.  Both nights, though one went very well and the other, rather poorly, have lead to the realization I must find a way to thicken my skin.  I don’t know how to do that.  As an anxious person, I tend to over-analyse every little detail; a bad set, an awkward social interaction, my place in pretty much every social circle in which I am a part, including familial.

Yesterday, I performed for the first time in the Niagara Region.  What a strange night of comedy.  Many of my friends and family were there to support me, which made me very happy, and very nervous.  But, all of whom were in attendance had mentioned they couldn’t wait to see me perform, so I felt like this was a good opportunity to see them in my “beginnings,” which sounds pretty pathetic, considering I’ve almost been doing this for a year.  It just goes to show, this stuff takes time and a LOT of hard work.  In hindsight, the material I’d chosen to perform might not have been really in synch with the audience in attendance.  Now that I know that, I can bring some more appropriate material the next time I perform in Niagara.

I don’t often think about the big differences between the place where I grew up and the places I’ve lived since.  But hands down, Toronto is VERY different than St. Catharines.  And the comedy audience in attendance here certainly wasn’t the crowd I’m used to in Toronto.  So.  I suppose it inspired me to branch out in my writing.

Anyway, if anybody from Niagara who was in attendance yesterday reads this: Thanks for coming out.  I’m sorry for all the dick, fart and oral sex jokes, but… well, that is pretty  much the standard definition of amateur comedy.

In contrast, I performed at Yuk’s downtown Toronto on Tuesday for Humber night and the set couldn’t have gone better.  I felt really “on.”  (Not so much in St. Catharines, considering I forgot a whole big chunk of my set.  Lame.)  The crowd was giggly and very receptive and almost everyone who went up pulled off an excellent set.

I wish I didn’t find myself so um… different(?) in comedy crowd socializing though.  Again, probably because I’m over-analyzing the situation constantly.  God forbid something I say would be un-funny or un-worthy of this crowd.  I never felt this way in any other social situation.   I think they should conduct psychological and sociological research on this fragment of the population.   The results would be so off the chart.

People are like: why do you care?  What’s the big deal?  Don’t think about it!  It doesn’t matter!  Just forget about it!

But what to do if you can’t?   If it’s impossible?  I’ll drive myself insane.  Maybe that’ll make me a better comedian.

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