Tomorrow begins the last and final chapter/semester of Clown College.
How do I feel about that? Well, I’m a bit of a mixed bag of emotions right now. This term sortof marks the height of our accomplishments over the past two years. We spend the last month (I think) showcasing our best 4-minute set in front of Mark Breslin & many other important people at Yuk Yuk’s, our best sketches and some of the top-plays will be selected to be put on at another performance – (location to be announced,) and finally, we compete for a coveted spot in the esteemed Industry Show on the Second City Mainstage.
I guess nervous, is what I am. Nervous and excited. Those are two things that really fuel me in this business/world/heavily-dominated-by-psychotic-people-industry so far. Because if I was sortof bored and blasé about the performances, I think it’d be a sign that I wasn’t really into it. I like the fact that for a few minutes before I perform a set, my brain pretty much shuts down and goes into “self-preservation” mode. It means I’m doing something that evolution is telling me scares the shit out of other people. And not even a little part of me thinks that’s stupid.
I like locking myself in my apartment and working my words over and over again until I get them just right. I’ve had help with that ever since first year univ… no wait, high school. Writing something is one thing, but re-writing again and again and again is a whole different skill. It requires patience, LOTS of patience.
What I’m not looking forward to is the getting-into-my-own-head-iness that I’ve been doing a lot; presuming things about people and their perceptions without anything but my own experiences and insecurities to back them (the presumptions) up. Hopefully I’ll try to work on that as I continue in my attempts to cultivate mindfulness and appreciate the significance of being “in the moment” in the clown college atmosphere, because there genuinely is no other atmosphere quite like it.
So, wish me luck with as I embark this last semester with an open mind, that will almost certainly be shut ten minutes into class, because in actuality, I’m a terribly impatient human being.
Also, watching the Simpsons in languages I don’t understand is funny. So here: