Move Over

I’m in the process of moving again. Completely expected and according to plan, but it’s still hard.

The physical act of moving is hard, but so is the psychological and emotional one. I’ve gotten used to this place and even though I’m really just moving down the street, the idea that I’m already packing up all my things again and relocating is just friggin’ hard.

I just need home base. From there I can jump around, create, and grow. But moving around all the time is like cutting the foundation out from underneath and consequently any growth that had already occurred. Gotta plan more seeds somewhere new.

I know that’s not entirely the case. There are some projects that persist and I’m certainly not starting over from zero, but there’s something of the disturbance of the balance of that foundation – the notion of home, the illusion of a permanent, secure place, cracks the foundation of me; my motivation. I self-sabotage certain elements of my work and myself because I’m just so tired of moving the couches and displacing the space where I have come to do my real good dreaming.

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My Friend Dale

Curses! Did you think I didn’t know what you were up to? Well, I’m on to you, buddy!

What you might not know, my friend, is how badly I wanted to bail on it last night. I had it all planned out. I’d show up, ooops! A little bit later than I’d originally planned. Traffic, you know! And it totally would have been OK because it’s only 2 minutes. Those two minutes can easily be filled with more improv, or more break-time, sure. Everyone get more beer!

Well, I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t let you down. Not this time. Well, the material might let you down, but my physical inhabiting of the space at the time as scheduled was not to let you down. I couldn’t give you the satisfaction, of tuning in next month, and listening to me whine about how I STILL HAVEN’T DONE ANY STAND-UP!!! UGH!!!!

You tapped into this weird sense of duty, nay responsibility in me. You knew I couldn’t bail because you know how much I hate it when people fucking bail. I hate it hate it hate it Also, living with the guilt afterwards if I hadn’t done it. I’m very susceptible to guilt, (see: Catholic.)

So I did it. My two minutes (and then some, I’m sorry.)

Are you happy now Dale?

bjw3zlt

Thank you. I really needed that kick in the butt.

Struggling On

logo1On a day like today, the first day this month that I’ve had to work full time hours on the weekend (just Sunday this week, in the coming weeks it’ll be expected of me Saturdays and Sundays), more than ever I feel the need to promote the latest episode of Nick & my podcast; The Constant Struggle:

http://www.podbean.com/media/player/a28d3-56ed11

This episode was taped on Father’s Day, and we discussed the grind of getting your creative work done under not-so-ideal circumstances. I have a feeling the next episode is going to talk about more of that because this month I will have even less time to do the things I love, which is pretty crazy disheartening.

It’s getting more difficult to manage the balance of work and passion. Work seems to be weighing more heavily. Too bad I’m not a millionaire, y’know?  Anyway…

In this episode, we give shout-outs to:

  • Drop & Give me 20 stand-up show (Marc Hallworth)
  • Robert Ariss Hills (improviser, graphic designer)
  • Dan Dingwall (a dude)
  • Susannah Kiernan (triple threat)
  • Ken Hall (improv guru)
  • Alexis Bernstein (networking queen & creative expert)
  • The bird clock
  • Porter Airlines

Books & Movies

  • Save the Cat (Blake Snyder)
  • Whiplash (2014)
  • Inside Out (2015)

Podcasts

  • The Moment (Brian Koppelman)
  • WTF (Marc Maron)
  • The Crimson Wave (Jess Beaulieu & Natalie Norman)

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#StruggleOn friends!