No Babies

What fun it is to commiserate over the fact that we’ve decided having babies is not the priority in our lives.

Instead, we can be 27 and go out ’til 3 a.m. rocking out as a man dressed as Santa Claus fake-urinates on a crowd before ripping apart an adorable plush elephant with a chainsaw and shooting off fireworks.

I’m not saying it’s not a noble thing to want to bring new life to the world.


I’m just saying… chainsaws, bitches.  Chainsaws!