Briecommendations: LAUGHSTACHE

This is happening tomorrow night:


I had the chance to catch up with some of the amazing acts performing on this show to ask them how they REALLY feel about mustaches and facial hair:

“There are those for whom I think it’s essential: Cult Members, Cult leaders, Indie Folksters, Wizards.  For others I believe it is appropriate without being strictly necessary: Cowboys, Ring Leaders, Dock Workers, Henchmen. And, of course , there are those for whom facial hair is an absolute no-no: Babies, Police Officers, Amateur Ironists, Anglican Priests.” – Scott Montgomery, Falcon Powder.

Here’s another opinion about who should and shouldn’t have facial hair:

“Facial hair’s pretty neat, unless it’s on a girl.”  –  Ben Miner

(I’ll be sure to make an appointment to get my upper-lip waxed – AFTER tomorrow’s show!)

What do the mo-sistas think about facial hair?

“LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. Love it. Seriously. LOVE IT! Oh my god. Even thinking and typing it makes me happy. I am a beard lover, but I also love an ironic mustache!” – Debra DiGiovanni

Well, you are going to LOVE the ‘staches at Comedy Bar tomorrow night Debra because comedians are only capable of growing mustaches ironically.  Little known fact.

Check out this coming-of-age-and-stache tale:

“We didn’t realize it was quite so much work! All of the waxing, flexing, watering it every day, etc. We feel a new respect for people that wear them all year round. The biggest problem is that it wakes us up all the time. We roll onto our faces as we sleep and it pokes us. Rolling onto your face as you sleep is normal, right?” – Marc Hallworth, Vest of Friends

Just as long as you continue to breathe, Marc.  Just as long as you continue to breathe.

Wondering whether or not any of these acts have grown mustaches this Movember?  Come to the show and find out!  Here are a few hints for ya:

  • “…didn’t grow my mo this year- stupid electrolysis- so now I have to overcompensate with my eyebrows. It’s kind of a double mo!”
  • “…we grew bristles just above our lips. But they PASS as moustaches.”
  • “…I didn’t grow a mo this year because I already had a beard and didn’t wanna mess with my head shot for auditions and such.”
  • “No I did not. My reason is simple: I fear my mustache would, by virtue of its sheer wispiness, discourage people from donating and/or participating in this and all future Movembers. I’d hate to be responsible for something like that.”

Finally – if you were on the fence at all about coming to the show tomorrow night, maybe because you’re offended that people have been calling you ferret-face all month, and they have, read on to find out why these hilarious comics think YOU should be there:

“Its the end of another Movember and it needs to be glorified. Plus, Movember is for a good cause, laughing is awesome and it’s Wednesday. what else are you doing on a Wednesday, jerk?! :)” –Debra DiGiovanni

“Because making prostate cancer and subsequently this yearly blight of terrible moustaches a thing of the past is a doubly good cause.” – Scott Montgomery, Falcon Powder

“Beacuse we heard that Tom Selleck, Hitler, AND Ned Flanders will be there! How can you miss those classic staches!?” – Marc Hallworth, Vest of Friends

And finally…

“People should come to Laughstache tomorrow because if they don’t Rob Ford will light a flaming bag of his own poop on your doorstep. He has a lot of free time these days.” – Ben Miner

:)

And ladies and gentlemen, I really do NOT want a piece of shit on my doorstep, OR the flaming bag!

So come on down!

Tickets are $15

All proceeds from ticket sales are going directly to the

Movember Foundation

For more information about the show, check out Impulsive Entertainment‘s website.

A Snippet from my Radio Sketch

ASHLEY:  Then how did WE survive?

BRIE:  Wheatgrass.

ASHLEY:  What?

BRIE: We were in the freezer with the wheatgrass.  Haven’t you worked here for like forever?  You should know that not only does wheatgrass prevent cancer and detoxify your body, it’s also resistent to thermo-nuclear blasts when cooled and kept in a confined space such as our refrigerator.

ASHLEY:  How do you even know any of those words?

BRIE:  D’uh.  It’s in the Booster Juice employee training manual.

 

Between Jesus and Tom Green

Ladies and gentlemen, the founder of modern planking: Mr. Tom Green:

Every couple weeks at Humber, we have guests, people who have achieved a recognizable amount of success in the comedy industry, come speak to us about their experiences in the business.

See:

Dave Foley & Kevin McDonald

Mark Breslin’s Coming to Town

Last week was no exception.  What a treat to find out Tom Green would be taking a break from his stand-up tour to come talk to us Humber comedy geeks! #fun, right?

Breslin, Green & Clark Ltd.

Now let’s be honest, I’m not the #1 hugest Tom Green fan of all time.  BUT, as a friend (and former girlfriend) to some pretty huge TG fans, it’s fair to say I’ve been following his career for a long time now, I guess since he had his show on MTV. I feel like one of the few people in the Humber crowd that remembered his marriage to Drew Barrymore and his battle with testicular cancer (two issues that were, to my surprise, NOT brought up in the Q&A!) In fact, I’d even met him before, in his hometown of Ottawa.  He was doing a book-signing for Hollywood Causes Cancer at the Chapters on Rideau.  I told him he had a nice suit.  It was pinstriped.  I should probably read that book.

ANYWAY.  Let’s rewind.  Tom Green, Mark Breslin pointed out, is one of the founders of shock humour, reality television (of the non-sociological-research-based-variety) & comedy-rap. He was so influential in Canada that Macleans once had to decide between featuring Tom Green or Jesus as a cover-story!  (They went with Jesus, btw.)

He’s like the precursor to Ali G-type stuff in that he started subverting what TV is and going places TV hadn’t gone before.  (Humping a dead-moose, WHAT?)  Tom Green tapped into the American zeitgeist and started doing stuff that set the precedent for stuff like Jackass and a bunch of other crazy MTV stuff.  And for what?  Because he’d consciously taken note of the funny that comes from unsuspecting people’s reactions to bizarre situations.

Right?  We love that shit!  That’s one of the reasons shows like The Office are as funny as they are!

Sidenote: The main reason I’m writing this is so I can use words like subvert and zeitgeist.

Tom Green encountered some pretty significant difficulties seeing eye-to-eye with the higher ups in Hollywood, who didn’t really understand his vision.  One of his bits of advice to us was to know where to draw the line between keeping your vision intact and handling the bureaucracy of the industry. (Presuming we ever get that opportunity.  Fingers crossed)

Another was to separate yourself from the rest with your hard work.

Green admitted he never wanted to be a big-shot movie star, that he was given creative control of Freddy Got Fingered and that that’s why the movie is how it is.   His ambition was to be a Letterman-style talk-show host, and now he interviews celebrities on his Internet TV channel at tomgreen.com.

He’s also returned to his roots, touring the world performing stand-up comedy.  (Tom started doing stand-up at 15, performing at Yuk Yuk’s in Ottawa!)  I probably should have gone to check out one of his sets, but I was performing one of my own last weekend and I wanted to make sure I was prepared for that.

(It went really well, btw.)

Another great experience with an influential comic, thanks to Humber College.  (If this is the kind of stuff my tuition pays for, it’s totally worth it!)

Stay tuned, as one of my future posts will tell you the tale of the exclusive performance of Andy Kindler for us Humber kids at Comedy Bar!

I totally got him to say "My pie."

Cancer Humour

Here’s an insight into one of my most terrible jokes:

  • “The worst thing about attending a cancer party, is that you can’t complain about the food.  Sure you’re chicken may be rubbery, but that guy’s dying of fucking cancer!”

I don’t mean to mock anyone’s struggle with cancer.  It’s just that sometimes, it’s so hard to not to be able to do or say anything helpful or comforting, that just saying anything, even if it’s the opposite of comforting, helps me deal with such a heavy reality.