Please, someone, hire me.  I’m good at stuff.  I have a degree and a diploma.  I’m smart.  I have lots of experience!

I just want to work during the days so I can have some time at night to go out and tell jokes/work on screenplays/work on spec scripts/work on short stories/write a novel/improvise/perform/write sketches/review shows/film shorts/film longer things/write plays/perform in plays/BE A COMEDIAN.

I just can’t do it because this…

And because it costs so much to live here…

AND because nobody in their right MIND would pay to see this take her clothes off…

In spite of all that.  Someone out there.  Please.  Hire me.

I’m serious.