Monday, May 21st 2012
- PAKISTAN blocked Twitter for several hours because it refused to remove tweets considered offensive to Islam. Also because they couldn’t decide whose Instagram photos of the Prophet Muhammad were more artistically credible.
- A MAGNITUDE-6.0 earthquake shook northeast Italy yesterday, killing four and covering the dead in naturally earthquake-grated Parmesan cheese.
- CANADA is preparing to announce ongoing funding for the Afghanistan military. In other news, AttawapiskWHAT?
- GLOBAL WARMING isn’t happening fast enough for two British adventurers who have cancelled their expedition to row from St. John’s, Nfld to Bristol, England to raise awareness about environmental concerns. Apparently, they weren’t familiar with the environmental concern of ice in the Atlantic.
- A MAN IN WINDSOR accused of swallowing diamond expelled the gem on Saturday, confirming the identity of the fine treasure, as well as the $20,000 diamond.
- FACEBOOK’s stock is sinking nearly 7%, falling below the $38 IPO price, in the social network’s second day of trading as a public company. I bet Mark Zuckerberg finally gets why we’ve been asking for a “dislike” button all these years.